According to some insiders, we are now less than twenty-four hours away from Barack Obama naming his vice-presidential candidate, and I’ve deliberately avoided the news shows today so as not to retch from all the speculation and hyperbole. I must assume that all the hosts on MSNBC must be buttoning their suits a little loose tonight to hide how erect their nipples are with anticipation. Come tomorrow morning, so the story goes, Obama will make his announcement, and instead of calling a press conference or leaking the news to a few reporters, the Obama campaign says it will communicate the message to its supporters first, in the form of a text message. A text message. Yes, one can imagine the millions and millions of Obama supporters not taking calls on their cell phones from anyone today, saving their batteries so they can be the first, tomorrow morning, to get the message "OMG OBAMA+BIDEN BFF!!!ONE" Actually, if that means people are going to be off of their cell phones tonight, this is quite a good thing; I don’t suppose there’s a chance that someone could talk Obama into sending a new message every day with, say, a cabinet pick? Just a thought.

All the talking heads I heard on television this past week say Joe Biden will be the pick. Back when the other Democratic nominees were dropping out of the race, everyone spoke of them doing so in the hopes of protecting a potential vice-presidential nomination. You could see something like that for a Bill Richardson or a John Edwards, but Biden was one of those candidates who seemingly everyone assumed was just going to go back to Capitol Hill for his weekly ten-second soundbite on the network news shows. Then again, some have pointed to Biden’s foreign policy experience helping to fill in one of Obama’s perceived weaknesses, plus Biden will help secure those all-important three electoral votes in Delaware. A state that hasn’t voted Republican in a presidential election since 1988. (Then again, that was the last time Ron Paul ran for President, so maybe Obama’s on to something here.)

Speaking of 1988, Bush Senior’s choice of Dan Quayle as his runningmate is just about the only thing that’s giving me hope that Obama might come totally out of left field with his choice, and when I say left, I mean left. I think the real reason Barack and Michelle Obama do that fist-bump thing is that Obama can’t hug her because he’s already got both arms firmly embraced around the political centre, and has been ever since the junior senator from New York conceded defeat in the primary (for now). I doubt that a vice-presidential choice will shake Obama’s resolve to move towards the middle, but taking the stage in Denver with a progressive would at least create the illusion that he still cares about true liberals. If nothing else has been proven since the primary season ended, it’s that Obama cares more about the illusion of caring for the left-wingers in the Democratic Party than actually championing their causes. That’s "change" I was expecting, and I actually took my hands off of the kyeboard just now to make the "air quotes" gesture. I had to do it again just now when I put "air quotes" in those same quotes, and I just did it again when I put it in quotes again. There, now I can stop that and resume typing.

I suppose some might argue that Al Gore nominating Joe Lieberman — who had been among the first big-name Democrats to castigate Bill Clinton for the Monica Lewinsky mess — back in 2000 was also somewhat of a surprise pick, which leads us to the possibility of McCain nominating him as his pick later this month. If Lieberman goes Republican, so does the Senate, although it would only do so until the start of next year since even the most stalwart Republicans are conceding that the Democrats will pick up several seats come November. Still, I suppose it would give Lieberman a way to stick it to the Democrats for not standing behind him after he lost the Connecticut Democratic primary to Ned Lamont. I don’t think he’d be that petty, but then again some would say it was petty of him to put up his independent campaign in 2006, so we’ll have to see. I doubt McCain would risk putting a pro-choice vice-president on his ticket, though, so maybe we’ll get a couple of more months of Mitt Romney hair jokes after all. Joy.

At least by tomorrow morning one of the choices will be made, and the pundits on television can go from speculating about Obama’s choice to second-guessing it. I think I’ll sleep in late tomorrow morning.