People who have followed my writing for any length of time know that I have a real knack for saying and doing things to embarrass myself. I’d like to think that this is something I’ve gotten better at over the years, but really I just think I’ve gotten better at hiding it when it happens. As hard as this may be for some of you to believe, I was actually worse at this when I was younger, as my perpetual naïvete on a variety of topics always led me, then as it does now, to some moments of real boneheadedness. For instance, back when I was still in a public elementary school, one day one of the teachers brought in a piñata for some special class. One by one students were allowed to beat on it with a broomstick, and I thought that was the only real purpose of it. The piñata burst in time, of course, and all this candy and other stuff dropped out (I remember a cassette tape being in there as well), and while I stood there wondering what to do, all the other kids ran and scooped up everything, and I was left with absolutely nothing. I probably cried, but I don’t remember for certain.
Recently my mother asked me to help her clean up a bunch of Tootsie Pops she bought before realizing she only wanted the cherry pops. As I went through the Tootsie Pops, I was reminded of yet another party back when I was still in the public school system. We had Tootsie Pops at that party, and after I threw out the wrapper to the lollipop, another student grabbed it and teased me. My wrapper had a star on it, and according to this student, I could have taken it to the store and gotten a quarter for it. I don’t think I believed this student, but I do remember going through the garbage can in the classroom looking for wrappers with stars on them as I got laughed at even more. At the time I guessed that the student, and everyone else there who didn’t like me, just wanted to see me root through the garbage.
Remembering this, as I sat up here now sucking on those Tootsie Pops, I figured that I needed to find out what the story was, if there really was some special reward for having a wrapper with a star on it or not. I went to that great encyclopaedic source of all things pop culture, Wikipedia, and looked up Tootsie Pops. Unfortunately, it looks like I never will get an answer. According to Wikipedia, some stores did offer a reward for a wrapper with a star on it, although they say the reward was usually a free Tootsie Pop, not a quarter. Some stores gave the reward for a wrapper with three unbroken circles on it instead of a star. Whether or not there was a store in Toledo that offered the reward, I’ll probably never know, especially given the way grocery stores around here have changed in the past twenty-five years.
Still, on my desk right now I have four Tootsie Pop wrappers, all of which have stars on them. I know no one will trade them in for quarters or free Tootsie Pops now, but I couldn’t help setting them aside as I cleaned up the rest of Mom’s Tootsie Pops. If nothing else, it looks like Tootsie Pop wrappers haven’t changed a bit in the past twenty-five years. They’re the only food wrapper I recall seeing in the last decade that doesn’t have a URL printed on it somewhere. It’s nice to know some things never change.