Yes, I’m still here. Just be glad you aren’t here right now, because it’s hell. I think even my counselor is getting tired of this, because I’ve got such a negative cycle going right now, with negative feelings feeding on negative situations causing more negative feelings, that I don’t think there’s any way to break it.
All I can say is last year, I made the worst mistake of my life. I thought my biggest mistake was not going back to Antioch, but no, I was wrong. By the time I realized what a mistake I made with Antioch, it was too late to go back to all my friends there. I’m hoping like hell I can undo this new mistake, but whether or not I even have the chance to undo it isn’t up to me.
I’m not perfect. And I’m no angel. But I’m trying, I swear I am. I can do better than I’ve done. And if I get the chance to prove it, then maybe I’ll feel better than I have.