One of the reasons I hadn't been getting back to my diet these past couple of weeks was because I'd had a bit of a sore throat. It wasn't a sick-like sore throat, but it was enough to get me on my normal sick regimen (zinc tablets, lemonade and salty/spicy foods) to try to stave it off before it became too serious. Over the weekend things seemed to get better, so I returned to my diet last night in the hope of getting it back on track.
Of course, this morning I woke up with a horribly sore throat, and it feels like a real sickness-type sore throat like I always get before I start hacking things up. (My left ear throbs whenever I swallow, which is usually a tell-tale sign of infection for me.) I'm supposed to leave for Wisconsin in nine days here, so unless this thing clears up ASAP, I may have to cancel plans for the conference. Given how the conference is supposed to be my first real stab at the "professional" world of collegiate English, I will really be upset if I can't go.
Yeah, get-better vibes are needed right now more than ever if I'm to still pull this off.
Um ... hi. Sorry I haven't been posting too much lately, but I'm getting closer to the Wisconsin conference here and my paper is still not in the shape I was hoping it would be in by now. Working on the paper, combined with other school work and the usual emotional stuff I go through, has been keeping me from being online as much as I'd like this past week or so.
Chances are I will do a .journal entry here sometime this week so I can get some of my fears about the conference off of my chest; besides, this does seem like a huge turning point in my life, so I think it's only appropriate to write about that for the .org's five-year anniversary. Yeah. More later; I have work to get back to here.
T-minus two weeks until I take off for Wisconsin. Yeah, I'm nervous as shit right now, thanks for asking.
Internet access was restored to the house on Monday, but even after a second visit from the cable techs today we still don't have decent cable reception. Not like I have much time to watch cable these days.
I'm stressed. And lonely. But mostly stressed. More later.
The Internet/cable problems at my house have gotten exponentially worse. Cable modem access is practically nonexistent at this point (I only get a few packets every couple of minutes, enough to check e-mail but that's about it), we've lost all the digital channels, and the analog channels aren't tuning in that well. Since the only computer at our house that still gets dial-up access can't handle pages with JavaScript, I got stuck coming to UT -- in the middle of a football game, no less -- to check e-mail. It's funny how I only recognize the UT fight song after I got a free NCAA football game with my XBox last year. Well, not funny, more like ... pathetic.
I was hoping I'd receive at least some feedback on my latest .photography update by now. The pictures looked fine (if a bit dark) when I was working on them last night, but when I checked them in the early part of the day (when I was still getting sporadic Web access) they seemed too dark. I really consider myself a novice at this photography thing, so any feedback anyone could give me -- even if you don't consider yourself knowledgeable about photography -- would be appreciated.
I'm still wondering what I'm going to do for .org.5 next month. I'll actually be in Wisconsin for that conference on the 11th (the day of the actual anniversary itself), and while I have an idea for one .journal entry, I still don't know what I'm going to do to replace the old Q&A that I can't do this year for various reasons. Again, any suggestions people could give me for that would be appreciated.
Since I probably won't be able to post here until at least Monday (the cable company won't be out to check on things until then, and I'll be home doing homework most of tomorrow), let me just say ahead of time that I fully expected the Steelers to wipe out the Bengals in Sunday's game, but the Bengals will still be on top of the division regardless of the loss so it's all good. At least the Red Wings are doing me proud right now.
I actually started uploading the photos to the .org before midnight, and only now am I able to get on here to say ...
New in .photography: 2005.10.21 Swan Creek. Yes, I finally got around to shooting at a different Metropark than Wildwood for once, and despite the overcast weather I think I got some fabulous shots taken. Feedback and reactions would be greatly appreciated.
I'm on campus right now to collect papers from my students. When I get done here I'll be heading back out to try to take those photos of the autumn leaves (it's still overcast here but at least it isn't raining). I'll try to upload those as soon as possible, but unfortunately our cable connection at the house is rotten right now -- things take even slower to load than they did back when I was on dial-up -- so I'm not sure when I'll be able to get them uploaded. I can still check e-mail and the like, but doing big graphical stuff like uploading a bunch of photos is kind of difficult.
Oh, and happy birthday Milena! ^.^
I was going to take photos of the autumn leaves here for the .org tonight, but right as I left the house we got quite a rain shower in here, and by the time the shower let up the park was about to close. I'll try again tomorrow, but we've got rain in the forecast for the next several days here, and by the time it lets up the trees may be bare.
My depression's been kicking up to even higher levels here as we get closer to Halloween here. October is National Coming Out Month, so when I was part of Spectrum it was always a time of great activity, planning events and stuff. (Making matters worse, UT's Homecoming game is then as well, so float-building sucks up a lot of time too.) At the end of the month, though, is the huge Halloween party, and after all that hard work there's just nothing funner than getting dressed up and just letting things all hang loose.
Obviously I can't go to Spectrum's Halloween party this year, and the closest thing I'll get to a party is a lock-in down in Bowling Green near the end of the month, and there's no way I can really dress up for that given that I'll be playing DDR and ITG up there and I'll need to wear stuff that won't impede my ability to play, and more importantly, sweat.
Not having those connections with other people here in town that I used to have hurts me a lot, but Halloween parties just have this way of helping me loosen my own inhibitions and have fun when it usually falls on me to be the responsible one whenever other people are partying. This will be the first time in a few years when I really won't be doing anything for Halloween, and that has me feeling very sad right now. (That, and the fact that I still haven't gotten my Halloween party props back from Spectrum yet ... Milena, I may need your assistance in building replacements if I don't get them back soon.)
Leave it to my messed-up life to result in me desperately needing peace and quiet here in the library to work on a paper here, only to have today be the one day that everyone else on the computers here won't shut up. I've even had people throwing things at each other in the row in front of me. You think people would get past that stage by the time they get to, like, college and stuff. Oy.
My class just had a wonderful discussion about the riots in Toledo over the weekend. (Contrary to some of the sensationalist news stories you may have heard on the news, the rioting was confined to a few blocks; the whole city was certainly not in flames.) Unfortunately I've run into a huge problem because the University was supposed to decide on the prompt for the freshperson writing contest by now, and they haven't, and so I've had to shuffle my schedule around and put off assigning the next paper until next week, meaning that now my students are going to have to write three papers in just six weeks here, and I won't even be here for two class periods because I'll be traveling to and from Wisconsin here. This isn't good.
Oh gee, things have quieted down. Back to work on that paper while it lasts ...
Former SNL cast member Charles Rocket's death ruled a suicide
This is the first I've heard of his death, which is a surprise to me. Even though I'm not old enough to remember his SNL run, his appearances as the evil Grossberg on the Max Headroom TV series were the stuff of legend. Even in my adult years, I still have Grossberg show up as a figure in my nightmares. Damn.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PENNY!!! *hugs*
Anti-Nazi Protest in Toledo Turns Violent
This didn't happen anywhere near me or my part of town, but as I was going grocery shopping tonight I was still nervous, wondering if maybe some of the people I saw in the store were some of the NSM members who came into town for this event. This is the first time in my lifetime I can remember Toledo being put under a curfew (except for snow-related city closures). Unbelievable.
For more of a local take on the situation, here are some Toledo-written stories on what happened:
WTOL-11 NewsPayday + Replay Weekend + things I actually want to buy = trouble.
First of all, the first DVD of the Oh My Goddess! TV series is mine. Do you even have to ask if I got the collector's boxed set? I don't think they put the best drawing of Belldandy on the free cell phone strap, but in all probability I'm going to go pick up a necklace here and hang it from that. I've said before that Belldandy is the closest thing I have to a role model, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like Belldandy is dearer to me than anyone from the pantheons of Gods and Goddesses I've studied. I realize some of my Wiccan friends probably won't understand that, but if it works for me, so mote it be.
While I was ay Media Play I also picked up NHL 2k6 for PS2. Normally I'm not one for picking up the sports games as soon as they come out -- even now that they're all selling for $20-30 brand new -- but the moment I found out that the CBC broadcast team was calling the in-game action, I knew I had to have it. Now if only they could get Ron MacLean and Don Cherry to do commentary between games ...
Oh, and while I was over there I saw what I was going to get Penny for her birthday if I was going to go down to Cincy to visit her this weekend, but I'm not. ;.;
Since I don't leave campus Tuesday nights before 2200, I picked up a couple of VHS tapes at the start of the semester just so I could tape the episodes of SVU that I'd have no way of catching from the beginning. To date, I have not once remembered to set the tape up to record before leaving the house; the one episode of the new season I've seen so far was the one night I skipped class due to that awful sinus headache.
The presentation last night didn't suck, and I didn't run into anyone from Spectrum, so I guess I can't ask for much more than that. Still, I was a nervous wreck last night, and even through today I've had so much negative energy building inside of me I'm having to turn completely within myself just to avoid spewing out hostilities towards the people around me. Given some of the things my co-workers have been doing lately, that's been quite a struggle. (More on that when I know I can write about it without inviting any libel/slander lawsuits.)
Unless people's plans change here soon, it looks like my fall break will be spent entirely in Toledo, reading Moby Dick and working on papers. Not exactly my idea of a fun vacation. Le sigh.
It's bad enough that later tonight I have this big presentation to give in my evening class, especially given that my professor for said class is a most disagreeable sort. However, earlier today I found out that while my class is going on, Spectrum will be holding its annual Matthew Shepard Memorial Candlelight Vigil just outside the building I'll be in, and in fact the window in the classroom will overlook the vigil. It's bad enough what happened between me and the people now in Spectrum, but especially for something like the vigil I can't help but feel like I should be there, but even if I didn't have class I know that I wouldn't be welcome there. No wonder, then, that I've been nauseous all day and I've only been feeling worse as the day has gone on.
Time to rehearse this presentation ... if I can keep my food down here.
Red Wings: Still undefeated, but there was no way I could watch the game this afternoon and see Darren McCarty in someone else's sweater. Hopefully this will be another case like the Larionov trade a few years back, and we'll trade to get Darren back by mid-season.
Bengals: No longer undefeated, but those first four games were kind of pushovers and with the O-line as banged up as it is, I can't say that I expected the Bengals to be 5-0 at this point. Oh well, even if the Steelers win tomorrow night we're still tied for the division lead. I'm just glad I canceled my comp class tomorrow (I wanted to give my students time to work on their group papers) so I don't have to hear it from all the Browns fans.
Yankees: Still alive, and although I only accord the Yankees the minimum amount of respect I feel is due for the rest of the family's pet team, I have zero respect for a team that decides to call itself "The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim." Seriously, what the fuck is up with that? I could understand them calling themselves "The Anaheim-Los Angeles Angels," much like they have the New York-New Jersey MetroStars in MLS, but that name is just stoo-pid.
Tigers: You had to see Trammell getting his walking papers after last month's collapse. I still say Kirk Gibson is the next best thing to Sparky Anderson, but Leyland's won a World Series, and on top of that he actually comes from suburban Toledo, so maybe now the local news networks here will start giving the Tigers the kind of coverage they used to get in the glory days of the '80s.
No one else from the Toledo area came up to Westland with me like I'd been hoping. Still, that just gave me more time with Jessi, who is still uber-cool. I hope she's able to come to a lock-in down in Bowling Green one of these days, to hang out there.
I got lost on the way out of Westland again (reminder to myself: turn right on Ford Road, not left), and since the only rest area on the way back was closed, I actually wound up stopping here at UT to pee and also to check my office. (There were vandals in the English Department offices last night, but my stuff was left untouched, thankfully enough.) While I'm here, I'm going to go slip a note under the door to the Spectrum office reminding the officers there that they still haven't returned my stuff after some five months. I may have to go to campus police here if this situation doesn't improve soon.
Joe (or someone else who knows a fair amount of Japanese), this isn't translated correctly, right? (I know that's an "ecchi" at the start of the hiragana so I know it has something to do with nawtiness, but I doubt that the English on the bottom is an accurate translation of the Japanese up top.)
I think someone needs to call the Detroit Police Department and tell them that the Ilitches are putting crack cocaine in the Italian Cheese Bread at Little Caesars, because I'm beginning to think they are ...
These past few days I've had kind of a bad go of it, and I'm starting to understand why.
I've got that conference in Milwaukee that I'm going to in about a month here, and I've also got a couple of other big trips lined up (North Carolina over Winer Break, Nevada over Spring Break). I've also got a mess of stuff that will be due at the end of this coming semester, including actual honest-to-goodness exams for the first time in my graduate career.
I guess my problem right now is that I'm finding it impossible to focus on day-to-day things, because all I can think about here is my future. I don't just mean the trips, either, because I'm getting to the point here where I have to think about life after getting my M.A., and I just don't know what I'm going to do. I know I need to get my Ph.D. if I want to make real money at this teaching thing, but I have no idea where I want to go (not UT since they don't have a Ph.D. programme) or what I want to specialize in. I'm going to have to leave the nest here soon as well, and I really don't know who I can turn to for support as I venture out into the scary, scary world on my own.
I've been getting almost paralyzed about stuff like this. I've been falling more and more behind in my schoolwork, and I can't hold my diet for any period of time because I keep thinking about trying to stick to it for weeks at a time instead of just trying to get through the day without going off my meal plan.
Help? Somebody? Please?
As I was getting around today I checked the TV listing on my My Yahoo! page to see what episodes of SVU and/or Criminal Intent would be shown tonight on USA. Don B., or someone, care to explain to me just what the heck is going on here? How out of touch am I at this point?
Anyway, over the weekend I picked up Metroid for my GBA, just so I'd have something to help keep me occupied in my off-hours when I go to Wisconsin for that conference next month. I'd have more to say about that now, but I've got a whole lot of school stuff to work on here, so I'd better go get to work on that.
Nothing like a Browns off-week to get me some Bengals on my Toledo TV. I'll be the first Bengals fan (or at least one of the first) to say that the fumble call on Carr was total bullshit and the Bengals might be 3-1 now if the officials had made the right call, but hey, a win is a win is a win. Next week it's off to Jacksonville, on ESPN to boot, although with the Red Wings' regular season starting this week, I don't know how much attention I'll be paying to the Bengals after I finally get some hockey back on my TV.
My head has been doing a lot better these past couple of days, and my thumbs didn't get hurt as badly as I feared they would. So let's see how else my body gets messed up these next few days, hmm?
Next month will mark five years of the .org. Sheesh. Anyway, it's kind of become tradition for me to have a "send in questions" thing every year, and for the past three years I'm proud to say that I have never turned down any question asked of me. However, this year I don't know if I can do that. There are questions that I'm sure some of you have about my departure from Spectrum and things that happened this past August that I really don't feel comfortable answering -- in public or private -- to anyone but my closest friends.
My first instinct was to have someone from my innermost circle do a long interview with me instead, but given how busy everyone in that circle is right now, I'm guessing that's just not going to happen. I'll figure something out here eventually, but if anyone has any ideas, you know where to post 'em.