posted 2002/12/30 at 13:07
Nice to know that even in the wake of all the shit that's been dumped on me these past few months, one thing remains constant ...
BUAD-2080: Global Environment of Business -- A
ENGL-2730: Reading Poetry -- A
ENGL-3790: Critical Approaches to Literature -- A
JAPN-2140: Intermediate Japanese I -- A
PHYS-1310: Physics of Music and Sound -- A
Grade point average for semester -- 4.0
Cumulative GPA through 17 courses -- 4.0
Yes, I know you hate me.
posted 2002/12/29 at 16:10
So of course Taylor's fumble is the one that allows Pittsburgh to come from behind and win the game. I am fucking cursed.
posted at 15:36
Okay, now that the Bengals have assured themselves of their worst record in franchise history, I have to ask something.
I've been watching football mostly on CBS this year, just because they're the most likely to show footage of the Bengals games. This means I've been watching a lot of commercials for CBS shows, although nothing they've shown me so far has interested me. I just have one question, though: with the exception of Ray Romano, isn't that the same damn guy starring in the other three sitcoms on Monday on CBS? I mean, honestly, I can't tell them apart. It's the Drew Carey effect: now every dumb white guy is getting his own sitcom. At least I can tell Drew apart by those stupid glasses he wears.
(Oh, and since the Browns game is on Fox today we're getting the Ravens/Steelers game in Toledo, and I just got to see Chester Taylor score the second touchdown of his NFL career. Cool.)
posted 2002/12/27 at 18:41
Yahoo! News - CIA Interrogations Said Verging on Inhumane
You know, it's moments like this I'm glad that all that stuff about the Republicans using the "War on Terror" as an excuse to roll back civil and human rights across the globe is just more pablum being cooked up by the liberal media. Keep your eyes on amnesty.org over the next few days people; this could get really interesting.
posted at 18:12
I decided to go back on my diet yesterday, because none of the stuff I was eating while I was off my diet was doing that much for me. If anything, I just felt fatter and had some really funky aftertastes when I was done eating. So I doubt I put on the eight to ten pounds I'd budgeted, and I'll probably have everything back off by the middle of January. That's the thing when you get as accustomed to healthy eating as I tend to get in my diets: the treats you used to nosh on relentlessly just don't taste that good anymore.
And of course now not only am I having to fight a massive depression fit, but now my body's getting used to not having as many calories, so I'm upset and I'm tired. Only one thing's really stayed the same: no one cares. But I'm used to that.
posted 2002/12/26 at 13:47
Have you ever felt like life was one big away mission and you're the ensign with the red shirt on?
posted 2002/12/25 at 22:33
Since I'm low on cash right now, all I have to give you for presents today are more bookmarks:
Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting -- The next time anyone tries to tell you that the media has a liberal bias or Fox News is "fair and balanced" or some piffle like that, just direct them over here. If I were more politically involved, their magazine would probably be at the top of my subscription list.
Sylvia Plath Online -- The best site I've found yet. If it's not on this site, the site links to it. Must reading.
posted 2002/12/24 at 18:34
Yes, this time of year does depress the everloving fuck out of me, thanks for asking. It's days like this I'm glad I can just curl up here in my room and not have to deal with the mix of insincere holiday cheer and genuine hatred for me because I had to get in line in front of them so they couldn't get home to do whatever it is they're doing. Not that I don't normally try to stay out of people's existences, but you ever get the feeling, in the middle of a shopping centre near Christmas, that half the people there are one frayed nerve away from a killing spree? No wonder so many holiday decorations are red -- they'll help soak up the blood in case someone snaps.
Oh yeah, I'm not in a real good mood right now. I've spent all the time from my last exam to now trying to relax and have fun, and it's just not working. I keep waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, I get aggravated by the tiniest little shit, and of course I'm at once desperate for human interaction and valuing this opportunity I have to be out of everyone else's sight and mind for the next few weeks. I just wish I could keep some of those people out of my mind, if you know what I mean.
Just a little while away from the traditional family dinner and present opening. (Yes, a family of three Wiccans and a lapsed Lutheran, and we still celebrate Christmas -- although just the overly commercialized modern version of it.) Tomorrow the folks will go up to visit with their families, and of course I'll be left behind here to do whatever the hell it is I've been doing these past few days. I can't even remember now how I've been spending my time. Not a good sign.
posted 2002/12/22 at 16:18
Whoa. Not that it means much to the Bengals at this point, but still.
posted 2002/12/20 at 23:42
New in the .journal: "I Can't Even Take Compliments Well". Come find out exactly why my continued academic success has forced me to seek out professional counseling. I wish I could make this stuff up, but believe me, when you live through it, it's another matter entirely.
Expect another .journal entry before the end of my vacation, related tangentially to this last entry. Go look at the clue I left about a potential .journal entry a couple of entries down, and see if you can figure out what I'm going to write about.
posted at 14:46
Hell, I know thy name, and it is "Having to Drive on the Last Friday Before Christmas." Next year, someone remind me not to schedule any of my classes so that I have a final on that last Friday, will you? Sheesh.
But no, it is done. Exams and papers are all in the books, I am home, my Crispix Mix is in the oven, and I'm about to put on eight to ten pounds over the next twelve days and love every single second of it. I will videogame myself into a stupor, watch as much anime as I can stand, and hopefully take my mind off of all the shit I've had to endure these past six weeks for a little while. I just hope three weeks of vacation is enough.
posted 2002/12/19 at 19:56
I'm now officially to the point where I want to get tomorrow done and over with. I've studied just about all I can for my final exam, and there really isn't much else for me to do right now other than sit around waiting for tomorrow to happen. Worse yet, most of my munchies for my no-diet time have arrived, so I have to control myself until I can get back here tomorrow after present shopping. Ugh.
Oh, and update on the hammer: there's been a bit of a delay, but come the new year I'll be able to get back on track with things. I guess that gives me time to enjoy being off my diet, not being in school and all that. But trust me, I am about to make two people's lives as miserable as they've made mine, and believe me, that's saying a lot.
posted 2002/12/18 at 23:41
Looking through Amazon.com for Christmas ideas, I wanted to get a price on Paul Begala and James Carville's latest book. While I was doing so, I decided to read up on what people had to say about We're Right, They're Wrong: A Handbook for Spirited Progressives, which I've owned and loved for quite some time. Here's what they had to say.
- "1 person recommended Holy Bible King James Version Study Bible (Burgundy) instead of We're Right, They're Wrong: A Handbook for Spirited Progressives"
(Sean's note: Sadly, this didn't even make me blink. Carville's a proud Christian, by the way.)
- Mr. Carville needs to switch to decaf! How about being progressive and recognizing that the Democrats are confused about the fact that in order to protect the economy you must first preserve the safety of the American people. The war on terrorism persists, and IRAQ is a one spoke of the wheel in that war ...
(Sean's note: the book was written in 1996.)
Oh, and I just read an article from the American Spectator that was originally published about ten years ago, that will one day provide great cannon fodder for a .journal entry. But that will be later; after exams you'll get another .journal entry that's been percolating in my mind since I got home from school today. Stay tuned.
posted at 17:23
Okay, four classes down and just one exam left to go on Friday, then it's three weeks off. This is probably something I should be enthusiastic about, but honestly I just want to get it over with, get back here and collapse. I'll be going off my diet when I get back on Friday, so I can enjoy the family's holiday cooking and such, and probably doing a lot of video gaming and sleeping. Or something like that.
I'll be hitting the ground running in January, though: another 16-credit hour semester, all my duties with Spectrum, scholarship applications out the wazoo, and a whole bunch of other stuff. So I'd better enjoy the R&R while I've got it, right?
posted 2002/12/17 at 16:33
You can all thank Bridgette for showing me this. As if I didn't have enough problems with humans as it is.
posted 2002/12/15 at 15:08
The Bengals will more than likely lose today (what else is new), but at least Chester Taylor finally has his first NFL touchdown. Anyone who knows more about football than I do, I know the Rams have a former Rocket on their O-line, but who was the last UT graduate to score a touchdown in the NFL? Anyone know?
posted 2002/12/14 at 23:42
It's 2330 on a Saturday night. I don't have to go back to school until Wednesday. So why in the bloody hell am I so tired and desperate for sleep right now?
Either I'm just not cut out for collegiate social life, or this depression is burrowing ever deeper in me. (One and the same, I know.)
posted 2002/12/13 at 20:23
I've barely had the energy to get out of bed all day today. I have the feeling that a good part of this is being caused by the hectic pace of the semester finally being over, but I know there's also a psychosomatic component at work here; I know that my depression has hit me so hard that it's affecting my ability to function at the most basic levels.
The thing is, I can't really ask for help with this. This is a problem that I know I have to solve by myself. But I've done everything I could think of to solve it, and nothing is working. I'm having to face the fact that I was born with a huge character defect that unfortunately was nursed, rather than cured, when I was younger. Now I don't think there's any fixing it. Now I'm probably going to go around the rest of my life with this problem, and no one can understand it, but it hurts, good grief does it hurt.
Yeah, I know you don't care, either. Just humour me for a while and pretend you do.
posted at 00:38
More and more I'm beginning to wonder if I'm cut out for this whole leadership thing. I mean, I know I've always been my own worst critic, but more and more I just see signs all over the place that I'm not doing that good a job. Everyone tells me I'm doing well, but that just makes me wonder whether or not they're talking about how much I suck behind my back.
Do these sound like the ramblings of a paranoid mind? Because they are. And leaders can't afford to be paranoid.
Thankfully Spectrum has adjourned for the long winter break. And I don't have to go to campus tomorrow because the one class I'd normally have that day has been canceled. Next week is exam week, but I've already gotten two courses completely out of the way. I have an exam each on Wednesday and Friday, along with a take-home final that's due on Thursday. All things being equal, I think I'll be well advised to take Friday and Saturday off here, and just think about stuff. Not that I haven't had a lot to think about these past few weeks anyway.
posted 2002/12/12 at 16:07
The hammer has fallen. Better yet, someone else will be dropping her own hammer in things fairly soon. I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to doing stuff like this, but unfortunately I wasn't left with much of a choice in the matter. Hopefully now I can get on with my life, because this whole situation has been distracting me for far too long.
So yeah, anyway, is anyone else bummed out by United Airlines' bankruptcy? I've never flown before, but I always figure that if I flew I'd go United, just because they helped to bring "Rhapsody in Blue" into so many peoples' lives. (Although they are using the more common altered version; when Gershwin originally wrote the song, the first three notes of the main theme were meant to be played in half the time you usually hear them.)
posted 2002/12/10 at 21:47
So yeah, I guess Thursday will be the day when everything happens. I don't like this side of myself, but there are times when I have to bring it out, and this is one of those times. Unlike the last time I brought it out, this time I will only be taking action "within the system" as it were, so there won't be any of the fallout like there was last time. Besides, the people I'm going against hate my guts already, so it's not like I'm going to piss anyone off who isn't already pissed off (or deserves to be pissed off).
I wish I could be more specific about things, but I'm trying not to make the same mistakes the people I'm taking down did. Let me just say that a couple of people are about to learn the hard way that you don't fuck with me, and more importantly, you don't fuck with my friends.
posted 2002/12/09 at 20:59
Fair warning to everyone: EVIL, VINDICTIVE BITCH Sean is back. Either get on board, get out of the way, or get ready to be rolled over.
posted 2002/12/06 at 19:53
I've felt like I've been past the point of tears ever since the fire. At moments like this, when I want so desperately to cry, to have some form of release, it just agonizes every cell in me that I don't have that release available to me. And I doubt anyone really cares.
posted 2002/12/05 at 23:49
So yeah, tonight was my first Business Meeting as the non-interim President of Spectrum, and for all that I was really nervous and stuff, I think things went well. Heck, the speakers even showed up this time. But then I made a joke at the end about if any officers wanted to resign, and some people thought I was doing it as a slam on the former officers (two were in attendance), but it was just supposed to be a joke about how things have been in Spectrum lately. So now I've got to deal with this problem that I created, but hey, it's not like this is the first time something like this has happened when I've been put in charge of something. (As my pre-.org readers doubtlessly know all too well.)
The papers for this week have been turned in; now I've got two big ones over the next two weeks, not to mention finals. Hoo boy. I just hope I can get through it all.
posted 2002/12/04 at 20:48
Happy anniversary to my parents, who are currently off at dinner somewhere.
Got to finish up a paper tonight (but thankfully all I have to do is turn the paper in tomorrow, with both my classes for the day canceled), and then I have one last paper to do by next week, and again I get to write up 5-6 pages on a Sylvia Plath poem. This time it's "Edge", the last (published) poem she wrote before her suicide. Fun fun fun, huh?
I'll have a take-home final in one class, but other than that I guess it's mostly finals prep after the papers are done. I'm not sure the Thanksgiving holiday recharged my batteries totally, but when it comes to papers and such, I'm always up for them, I guess. I'm a bit worried about how I'm doing in one of my classes (thankfully the one with the take-home final), but I've got A's in all the others as of this moment -- in two of them I'm actually over 100% on the year -- so we'll see how that turns out.
Still, I've got no drive in me right now. Hopefully I can play some video games here for a while and then put in one last push to get the paper done. Or something like that.
posted 2002/12/03 at 00:31
Yahoo! News - Supreme Court Could End Miranda Warnings
You know, it's moments like this I'm glad that all that stuff about our civil liberties being done away with by the Republicans is just some silly fabrication by the liberal media. ("Sean, this is the Supreme Court, not the Republicans." "Yeah, tell you what, why don't you ask Al Gore about that.")
And yes, somehow I made it back home without another slip-slide incident. I couldn't work much on that second paper I've got due this week due to my stress, though. Hopefully the driving will be much smoother tomorrow.
posted 2002/12/02 at 16:54
Let the slip-sliding weather commence! Of course one of these snowstorms would have to hit on one of the days where I have to drive to two different campuses for my classes, wouldn't it? I've already slid a couple of times out on the roads, but so far nothing all that bad. There really isn't that much snow either -- no more than an inch on the ground right now -- but it's steady enough, and the weather just cold enough, to make driving really, really treacherous. I might have even skipped tonight's last class, if I didn't have a paper to turn in there. So let me go take care of that, then hopefully get back home in one piece. I hate driving in the snow!
posted 2002/12/01 at 16:05
And if Rackers doesn't miss his first PAT, Cincy just needs to kick a field goal in the final two minutes to send it into OT. It's a curse!
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