You ever mix two phrases up? The other day I had this phrase pop into my head, and just wouldn’t get out because I was having a hard time remembering where it came from. So of course I go on all the search engines and input the phrase, trying to get any information on it. But no matter how many times I typed in “I wanna teabag my balls in it,” I never got any results back. Of course, what had happened was I had…

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I think this whole internal debate I’m having is going to fuel a journal update either tomorrow or, if it gives me enough trouble sleeping, tonight. It’s going to be tough finding a way to write about it because I won’t be able to go into specifics or anything like that, but because the core of it is really an issue of artistic purpose, I suppose there’s a good deal that I could write about. It’s hardly like I’m used to sheltering aspects of myself…

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I think I resolved things with J. last night. It’s hard to tell because there’s still that underlying current of tension, that feeling that there’s combustible gas in the air between us where neither one of us wants to make any sudden move for fear of starting a spark and blowing everything up. Fortunately I’ve been through enough of these kinds of situations to know that it just takes a short amount of time, usually aided by one really funny joke, to get things all…

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After writing in my online journal last night I couldn’t shake this ennui, this sense that I had just spent my all in the journal (and the e-mail I sent to J. afterwords) and couldn’t do anything else. Television, video games, my pet projects — none of it interested me. I ended up going to bed early and even then I couldn’t sleep that well. I suppose that with everything that’s been going on I shouldn’t expect too much from myself just yet, but my…

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