I think this whole internal debate I’m having is going to fuel a journal update either tomorrow or, if it gives me enough trouble sleeping, tonight. It’s going to be tough finding a way to write about it because I won’t be able to go into specifics or anything like that, but because the core of it is really an issue of artistic purpose, I suppose there’s a good deal that I could write about. It’s hardly like I’m used to sheltering aspects of myself…

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I think I resolved things with J. last night. It’s hard to tell because there’s still that underlying current of tension, that feeling that there’s combustible gas in the air between us where neither one of us wants to make any sudden move for fear of starting a spark and blowing everything up. Fortunately I’ve been through enough of these kinds of situations to know that it just takes a short amount of time, usually aided by one really funny joke, to get things all…

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After writing in my online journal last night I couldn’t shake this ennui, this sense that I had just spent my all in the journal (and the e-mail I sent to J. afterwords) and couldn’t do anything else. Television, video games, my pet projects — none of it interested me. I ended up going to bed early and even then I couldn’t sleep that well. I suppose that with everything that’s been going on I shouldn’t expect too much from myself just yet, but my…

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Well, it looks like I may be too tied up here to get to Wildwood today, which would be a shame. At least if I don’t go today, this mid-week cold spell looks to be the last major one of the year, so I should be able to start getting to Wildwood on a much more frequent basis. Not only that, but it’ll be nice to open the house up like it is now much more often, get some more fresh air circulating in here.…

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I wanted to reset the statistics for my Web tracker just now, but I couldn’t get in to edit it. So I changed Web trackers. I am nothing if not a person of action. Anyway, I did a little housekeeping on the site just now, nothing any of you should be able to see but it should make things a lot smoother for me. I suppose I should have been writing a journal update or something instead, but this was kind of something I had…

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