It’s four in the morning, the end of December


I’m writing you now … well, because I always do a "Famous Blue Raincoat" post every year, whether on here or someplace else. This is probably the worst year for me to be staying up to do this post, too, because not only is my schedule such that staying up this late is harder than it has ever been before (yeah, I’m getting old, thanks for asking), but in about four hours here we’re going to have movers coming in to get all of the heavy stuff out of my sister and brother-in-law’s room to move to their new apartment. Given that their room is right next to mine, I’m guessing that I’ve doomed myself to less than a full night’s sleep here, and of course I don’t want to sleep through the change to a new year tomorrow night even if the passage of calendar years has never really been my thing.

I haven’t made any actual resolutions for the new year in some time — I prefer to make resolutions on my birthday — but I guess I still kind of have wishes for the upcoming year. More than the requisite health and good luck for myself and my friends and family, I’m hoping I can finally achieve some clarity regarding my job/school situation that I wrote about a month ago. I do feel good that I was entrusted with an extra class for this coming term, and I’d like to think that my prospects for finding a full-time teaching job are looking up, but I’m still dealing with nagging questions about whether I may regret not going for an additional degree (or possibly even two). I don’t think that my mind and heart are still split so evenly as they were a month ago between work and more schooling, but between the time and money I’m looking at investing here, as well as my own confused wishes, I’m still hesitating to commit one way or the other. Given how the deadlines for some of the schools I’ve looked at are rapidly approaching, I can’t afford to hesitate much longer.

I was hoping that this vacation would give me time to clear my head about that mess, but of course then I had to worry about clearing my head of a hundred pounds of mucus in addition to everything else. I’m only just now getting back to a resemblance of a normal life, and two weeks from today I’ll be back in the classroom again. (I’ll actually start teaching my online course before that, but I’m still not in the same frame of mind for that class as I am for the ones I teach in the flesh.) As I teach more and more classes here — if I don’t get a full-time position soon then I’d like to at least pick up additional classes at other nearby colleges — figuring out my schedule becomes more and more complicated. I’m not quite at the point where I’ll need to start keeping a daily calendar, but I’m getting closer, and I’m having to deal with more uncomfortable questions about just how I spend my time. Perhaps I won’t be able to make these "Famous Blue Raincoat" posts for much longer.

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