Now, as a public service, I will repeat the introduction to today’s blog entry for the hard of hearing: TODAY IS GARRETT MORRIS’ 71ST BIRTHDAY!!! Okay, it doesn’t translate so well to written form, but those of you my age or older and laughing right now, admit it. On that note, let’s play the friday5.org Friday Five!

1. Which open-all-night establishment has been a lifesaver for you?
Meijer. Whether I need some doughnuts, underwear, or duct tape at three in the morning, it’s just an eight-minute drive away.

2. What open-all-night establishment is closest to where you live?
The closest 24-hour establishment to me is a Speedway gas station about a mile away. Not counting that, there’s a Kroger about five minutes away from my house that is open twenty-hour hours a day.

3. What nonexistent open-all-night establishment could you really use in your life?
Meijer and Kroger pretty much take care of anything I’d need twenty-four hours a day. Meijer’s selection of entertainment media (books, CDs, DVDs, video games) isn’t the best, but I do most of my shopping for those things on Amazon.com anyway. The only thing I need that I can’t get from Meijer or Amazon is illegal to sell, anyway. (Ba dump bump.)

4. Which open-all-night establishment in your town is least likely ever to see your patronage in the wee hours of the morning?
The Wal*Mart a mile down the road from my house. If you don’t know why, you haven’t been reading my blog long enough.

5. Have you ever purchased anything advertised on television late, late at night?
I haven’t, but back in the eighties Mom got me that "Where There’s a Will There’s an A" study programme, and back then I really, really wanted a Soloflex for some inexplicable reason. Something about the minimalist commercials appealed to me back then.