So VH-1 does their whole “50 Greatest Women of the Video Era” thing, and of course I have to get the list e-mailed to me because I still don’t have cable. (Sniff sniff.) So let’s have some fun, shall we?
50. Avril Lavigne — haven’t seen, but I know she hasn’t been around long enough to get this high.
49. Kylie Minogue — probably should be higher given her fame in Europe.
48. Eve — can’t judge.
47. Paula Abdul — should be higher, but honestly I never much cared for her.
46. Ashanti — can’t judge.
45. Joan Jett — should be top twenty at least, possibly top ten.
44. Norah Jones — can’t judge.
43. Sarah McLachlan — I’ve never been hooked on Sarah’s videos, but her music should make her top ten easily.
42. Lauryn Hill — should be higher.
41. Björk — no, not number one, but should be top five at least; “Bachelorette” is still the greatest video of all time.
40. Lil’ Kim — barf.
39. Shakira — double barf.
38. Courtney Love — should be higher.
37. Sade — should be higher.
36. Tori Amos — should be a lot higher.
35. Aaliyah — shouldn’t be on the list at all.
34. The Bangles — about right.
33. Alicia Keys — maybe a bit lower.
32. Jewel — should be higher on music, although she still hasn’t topped Pieces of You.
31. Melissa Etheridge — should be a bit higher.
30. En Vogue — shouldn’t be on the list at all.
29. Cyndi Lauper — should be higher for mere historical reasons.
28. The Go Go’s — a bit lower; I’d place them right below the Bangles.
27. Dixie Chicks — I don’t like country, but I’d place them top ten right now just to piss some people off.
26. Pat Benatar — should be top ten.
25. Faith Hill — should be lower.
24. Salt-N-Pepa — should be just a few slots higher.
23. Stevie Nicks — should be top twelve.
22. Tina Turner — should be higher, although I’ve never gotten into her stuff; still, it’s a lot better than the soup of shit R&B; has turned into.
21. Jennifer Lopez — should not be on the list at all.
20. Queen Latifah — about right, maybe a bit higher.
19. Pink — get off the damn list.
18. Missy Elliott — shouldn’t be on the list.
17. Cher — probably should be higher, but I’d have her lower.
16. Chrissie Hynde — should be higher, but not above Jett and Benatar.
15. Destiny’s Child — shouldn’t be on the list.
14. Christina Aguilera — I’d have her near the bottom of the list; unlike all the other pop singers out there, at least she has a good singing voice.
13. Alanis Morissette — should be lower; like it or not, she was a one-album wonder.
12. Annie Lennox — should be lower, but not much.
11. Mary J. Blige — lower, lower, lower.
10. Celine Dion — pass the barf bag.
09. Gwen Stefani — I like her, but she should be way lower.
08. Shania Twain — maybe the bottom of the list, at best.
07. TLC — top thirty at best.
06. Sheryl Crow — top twenty-five at best.
05. Mariah Carey — top twenty maybe, although I never did like her.
04. Britney Spears — jettison this jetsam off the list at once.
03. Whitney Houston — maybe top twenty, personally I can’t stand her.
02. Janet Jackson — top twenty at best.
01. Madonna — like her or hate her, you can’t deny her this spot.