posted 2007/08/19 at 15:47
Toledo summers have been getting hotter and hotter these past few years, and by this coming Wednesday we're supposed to be getting back around 90 degrees in the afternoons. As I type this right now, though, it's only about 63 outside, which is lower than it usually gets at the dead of night this time of year, and it won't be getting much hotter tomorrow. It's also been raining nonstop, and with all the rain we have in the forecast this coming week I'm sure that flooding is going to be a serious problem for this region. (Thankfully we live on very high ground, so we shouldn't have any problems in the neighbourhood.) Although it's not like the leaves have turned red and gold yet, they certainly aren't as bright as they were a month or so ago, and that, combined with the unseasonably cold weather, kind of makes it feel like autumn is rapidly approaching, if it isn't already here in a weird sort of way.
What perhaps makes this all the harder for me to ignore is the fact that UT begins its fall semester tomorrow, and this is the first time since 2000 that I won't be a part of things there. Granted, I start teaching up in Michigan in less than two weeks, and although not all of my memories from UT were that pleasant it's not like I actively dislike the place, but still, it is a very weird feeling for the school year to be starting with me not getting ready to be a student myself. (I mean "student" in terms of being on the other side of the desk; certainly I have a whole lot to learn from my students this upcoming semester.) In the years after I left Antioch, I would always get some serious depression this time of year, not just because of the whole seasonal shift and the constant reminders of death and decay all around me, but because I felt like I left a part of myself at Antioch that I never fully reclaimed. Now I'm beginning to wonder if I might have a similar feeling now that I've left UT.
On the one hand, I can't begin to describe how happy I am to be teaching again, and how excited I am for the upcoming semester. I've been busy re-reading all of my favourite teaching books, and I'll be putting the finishing touches on my syllabus later this week. On the other hand, going to the local office store to get a nice attaché for my school stuff instead of a purple backpack like I'm so used to doing, not buying my customary binder and notebook paper and Avery pocket dividers, is a strange and altogether uncomfortable feeling. I've hardly ruled out ever going back to school to get another degree (whether a doctorate in English or, more likely, an MFA in creative writing), but at times like these I can't help but wonder if I shouldn't be making plans to go back to school sooner rather than later.
copyright © 2008 Sean Shannon