posted 2007/08/27 at 21:39
Earlier this evening I went up to work for a workshop on how to use the distance learning functions there, as well as for a couple of social gatherings. I want it duly noted that they served dessert at one of these gatherings, and by dessert I mean various pies and cakes and cheesecakes, as well as brownies and all that other good stuff, and I just stuck with my water bottle thank you very much. I had been hoping to get out of there early enough to check out a new place to play dancey games in Ann Arbor, but I didn't want to get back here too late. (I'll probably head up there Thursday after I teach my first class.)
This was the third time I've been on campus, and the second time I've had a chance to mingle with my fellow instructors. I guess I'm kind of having a hard time adjusting to the fact that Monroe County, for lack of a better way to say it, isn't UT. I mean, I definitely had my share of good and bad times at UT, and to be honest I don't ever see myself returning to teach at UT for a number of reasons. (At least that's how I feel at this moment; I've actually changed position on this topic several times since graduation.) Still, when I was in the cafeteria with all the other instructors for the big social function of the evening, I couldn't help but look at people and go, "Hey, that person kind of looks like so-and-so from UT." If anyone I knew from UT is at Monroe County now, I'm certainly not aware of it, and even though I was kind of in need of a fresh start after UT, I also can't deny that there's a very large part of me that wishes that I had one or two friendly faces, known quantities, there to help ease me into this new stage of my life.
I suppose that now, more than ever, it's striking me how much of a curse it is (in addition to being a blessing) that I'm in a position in my life where I still have so many options available to me. There's little doubt in my mind that once I've been at Monroe County for a few years, I'll be able to snap up a tenure-track position and make my home there. However, I can't deny that as much as the "life of the ivory tower" is antithetical to my personal and social beliefs, there is a certain romantic allure to the idea of going for a doctorate in rhetoric and composition studies. I may yet decide to go and get my MFA in creative writing. Maybe I'll find some other writing-related task to put food on my table and warmth in my heart, or maybe I'll return to my music or ... I don't really know. I have a lot of possibilities open for me right now, and I'd be lying if I said that they weren't terrifying me a little more than usual lately.
copyright © 2008 Sean Shannon