posted 2005/11/05 at 16:43
Damn it, I'm not getting any better here ... I was still holding a bit of a chance that I could go deliver my paper next week, even if I were to just drive to Milwaukee the night before, deliver my paper that morning, and then turn right around and come back here, but if I don't get considerably better in the next forty-eight hours or so I'm going to have to make alternate plans here. I know I normally get sick around this time of year, but I was hoping to avoid things at least long enough to handle the conference this year. So much for that idea.
At least I got out and got those autumn photographs taken when I did, because now most of the trees (at least from my bedroom window) are at or near bareness. Still, the leaves on the ground haven't dried up and turned brown yet, so the ground outside our house is beautiful with all kinds of yellows and oranges. If I can get some good sunlight tomorrow, I might go out and take a few photos for you all.
Seeing those leaves makes me feel sad, though. I have to fight seasonal depression in the autumn as it is, but this year when I look out at those leaves I can't help thinking that I wish I had someone to go out and play in the leaves with, or people I could call up for a friendly game of touch football. (I haven't played touch football since high school, and I don't think I've gone out to play in the leaves since I was very little.) I don't have anyone here to play with, though, and even if I could go down to Cincinnati right now (and I wasn't sick) all my friends down there are too busy with their own lives to have time to play with me. Damn it, why do I always have to feel so alone and left out?
copyright © 2008 Sean Shannon