Anyway, I'm still trying to sort through things here. You'll notice the lack of diet log entries the past few days, for the simple reason that I have to turn to food as a coping mechanism right now because so many of my other coping mechanisms have failed me and I don't have anything else to turn to. Thankfully I've still got a strong distaste for fatty foods after the last time I was off-diet, so right now I'm mostly just drinking a lot of Sobe and other beverages. I'll still put on pounds since I can't exercise to burn off the extra carbs (I'm probably still a few days away from my ankle healing well enough to play DDR), but a little weight gain now is acceptable for me given the comfort the extra food is giving me. It's stupid, I know, but believe me, I wouldn't do this if I had anything else to turn to.

There's one step I know I have to take to make myself better, and since I know some people are reading this who can get the word out to other people, I'll just announce it here: Effective immediately, I will no longer be participating in Spectrum in any way, shape, or form. I want off the membership roll, I want off the e-mail list, and with the exception of a few people who probably know who they are already, I don't want anything to do with anyone in Spectrum. I would ask that all Spectrum members who currently own anything of mine (my keyboards, my videotapes, my other personal property) please bring those items up -- fully assembled -- to UT's English Department office (fifth floor of University Hall) so I can pick them up later.

I'll have more to write later, but for now I think I just need some more time alone here.