posted 2004/03/11 at 01:37
Dilemma, dilemma, dilemma ...
One of my Spectrum friends is having a party Friday night. In fact, she's one of my best friends, as we're spiritually very similar to each other. I enjoy her company a tremendous amount. But when I hear the word "party", it just doesn't bring good images to mind. I was at one of her parties a year and a half ago and had a good time, but I was in a much different frame of mind then.
I'm probably going to go, but there's a large part of me that's concerned that I'm just setting myself up here, that I'm going to go, sit off in a corner and watch everyone else have fun, and wonder to myself why I can't have fun like they do. And I'm not just talking an alcohol thing here; when I get to this level of depression, I just get the feeling that there's something fundamentally wrong with me because I can't just kick back and enjoy myself like everyone else is seemingly able to do.
And on top of that all, the theme of the party is the 80s, and unlike most of the people who will be there, I remember enough about the 80s to know that there is precious little from that decade worth celebrating. (And this isn't just a Reagan thing.)
copyright © 2008 Sean Shannon