posted 2003/03/23 at 20:29
Further attempts to get the book I need for class this week failed; I hit South Toledo today, searching at about five different places, and drawing blanks each time. I guess I was most surprised by how many stores I used to go to in malls and such have closed down; one of the arcades I used to frequent when I was little is now shut down, and I'm guessing the other one isn't far behind. I also passed by the Residence Inn where I stayed after the fire, and it's still so odd to look up to the window I used to look out of every night for nearly a year. In the end, though, I just wanted that damn book, and now I had to go e-mail my professor and let her know how much trouble I had finding it; hopefully I won't be the only one having such problems.
I have become such an expert at putting on a face of happiness when I'm so miserable. And, I mean, when you're just out shopping or something, it's not supposed to be that big a deal; the people around you don't know you, and they're not going to help you, so why not just act like everything is normal so then you can get done with your business as soon as possible? But I swear, it was so hard to do that today. I'm in a bad way again, and a large part of my support network feels like it's up and left in a huff, because I was "harshing their mellow" or somesuch. I don't know what to do, but I get the feeling that I'll be spending a lot more time than usual at home this week, trying to figure out just what in the hell to do.
copyright © 2008 Sean Shannon