posted 2002/12/24 at 18:34
Yes, this time of year does depress the everloving fuck out of me, thanks for asking. It's days like this I'm glad I can just curl up here in my room and not have to deal with the mix of insincere holiday cheer and genuine hatred for me because I had to get in line in front of them so they couldn't get home to do whatever it is they're doing. Not that I don't normally try to stay out of people's existences, but you ever get the feeling, in the middle of a shopping centre near Christmas, that half the people there are one frayed nerve away from a killing spree? No wonder so many holiday decorations are red -- they'll help soak up the blood in case someone snaps.
Oh yeah, I'm not in a real good mood right now. I've spent all the time from my last exam to now trying to relax and have fun, and it's just not working. I keep waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, I get aggravated by the tiniest little shit, and of course I'm at once desperate for human interaction and valuing this opportunity I have to be out of everyone else's sight and mind for the next few weeks. I just wish I could keep some of those people out of my mind, if you know what I mean.
Just a little while away from the traditional family dinner and present opening. (Yes, a family of three Wiccans and a lapsed Lutheran, and we still celebrate Christmas -- although just the overly commercialized modern version of it.) Tomorrow the folks will go up to visit with their families, and of course I'll be left behind here to do whatever the hell it is I've been doing these past few days. I can't even remember now how I've been spending my time. Not a good sign.
copyright © 2008 Sean Shannon